Artificial Continuum


Monday, May 24, 2010

I issue a reminder to all those who read this site. Tomorrow, Tuesday, May the 25th, is Towel Day, a day of remembrance for the wonderful writer, Douglas Adams. In his honor, thousands, including myself, will carry a towel with him or her. I hope that all of our readers will do so. If you are more zealous in your love of Douglas Adams, then I suggest that you do something extra, like wearing a bath robe, carrying 42 towels, or soaking your towel in nutrients for an emergency. For those of you who have not read his fabulous series of science-fiction-comedy, please go and do so as soon as possible. There is really no other series like it.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value -- you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-tohand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you -- daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase which has passed into hitch hiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)



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2 comments:

Nick said...

You Posted! And a great one at that!

Anna said...

HAPPY TOWEL DAY!

~Anna <3

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